In My Heaven
by Scarlett7
Summary: A short story about what it's like in Johnny's Heaven and who else is there with him. Companion piece to Between Here and Gone. COMPLETE!
1. Default Chapter

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I do not own the Outsiders.  
I do not own the song "My Heaven" by Mary Chapin Carpenter.  
This is a companion piece to "Between Here and Gone". I wrote this story based on the song "My Heaven". Listen to it if you can find a copy. It's beautiful and it always makes me think of Johnny. There will be at least one more chapter to this story, and that will probably be it! I will include the song lyrics in the next chapter at the end. Hope you enjoy!

"My Heaven" 

Though his eyes were closed, Johnny knew it was daytime. He could feel a warmth on his face and arms, and the light was so bright he could practically see it through his eyelids. He turned on his side and stretched. He breathed in cool, fresh air. He felt grass tickling the sides of his face. And then his eyes shot open.   
He was not in the hospital anymore. For a second he started to panic. He was afraid to even think what had just happened. But he knew. He knew what had happened. He had died.  
He closed his eyes and opened them again, slowly. He was afraid to move. I'm really dead, he though. This is it, I'm really dead. His breathing grew rapid and he looked around, frightened. He was in the middle of a field of tall grasses and flowers. There were mountains and trees in the distance and he could hear running water, as though there might be a stream nearby.   
I'm dead, he thought again. But... I'm really... not. As he took in his surroundings, his panic began to subside. OK, he thought trying to calm himself. I can do this. I'm ok. Everything's fine. And slowly, a peaceful calm began to wash over him. He began to notice that he didn't hurt any more. Not at all. In fact, he could move! This sudden realization blocked out any previous fear that he'd had as he jumped to his feet took a few steps, just to make sure. "I can walk..." he said out loud. He grinned and took a few more steps. "I'm ok! I can really walk!"  
He jumped when he heard a soft laugh coming from behind him.  
"Of course you can, silly. Why you could fly, if you wanted to!"  
Johnny froze. He knew that voice. He slowly turned around, afraid to believe that it was who he thought it was. But it could be, he thought. If I am where I think I am, then it really could be...  
When he saw her, his eyes filled up with tears. "Mrs. Curtis?" he could barely get the words out.  
"Hi sweetie!" She said opening her arms and smiling that beautiful smile that he missed so much. She ran up to give him a hug. Then she held him at arms length and looked at him, her eyes shining just the way he remembered her. "We've been waiting for you," she said softly.   
He looked at her, an expression of uncertainty crossing his face.  
She hugged him again. "There's nothing to be afraid of, Johnny. You're going to really like it here. Wait until you see it! Come on!" And with that she started off down a grassy path out of the field.  
Johnny followed her. He couldn't believe it. He was no longer on earth. He had died. But he felt strangely ok about it, like it was just his time. It was the way things were supposed to be. And then a thought struck him. "Hey, did you really mean that?"   
"What?" Mrs. Curtis asked innocently, though she was sure she knew exactly what Johnny was referring to.  
"That... that I could... fly?" Johnny reddened and looked at his feet. It sounded completely ridiculous.  
But Mrs. Curtis just smiled at him and took his hand. And they began to float, higher and higher.  
"Whoa!" Johnny said with a gasp and he suddenly fell to the ground.   
"Careful, Johnny," Mrs. Curtis said. "You have to believe! It's all about faith up here. Try again."  
Johnny looked at her. Then he closed his eyes. When he opened them, he was ten feet off the ground. His eyes widened and he smiled, but he started to sink again.   
"You can do it, come on, that's it!" Mrs. Curtis clapped as Johnny started floating again.  
"This is so weird..." he laughed.  
"You'll get used to it. It'll take a while. Why don't we just walk?"  
Johnny looked at her in astonishment. "Are you kidding? No way!"  
She laughed and soared a couple feet higher, heading towards the trees. Johnny followed. "You'll just love it here, I promise!"  
"Where's Mr. Curtis? Is he here too?"  
"Of course! He's back in the gardens, painting the flowers."  
"I didn't know he painted!"  
"You can do anything you want here, Johnny. We just play all day! Oh, and it's not exactly the kind of painting you're probably thinking of..."  
As they came around to the other side of the forest, they flew over a huge garden. There in the middle of it was Mr. Curtis. And he was painting the flowers. Not pictures of flowers, he was actually painting the flowers. At the moment, he was painting a rose a brilliant blue color and he had already painted it's stem a bright reddish purple. The whole garden was an almost ridiculous looking array of color. It was like nothing Johnny had ever seen before. But then again, this was the man who had named his sons Ponyboy and Sodapop.   
"Hi, Johnny!" he waved. "It's great to see you!"  
Johnny laughed and waved back.  
"Careful, Johnny! Look where you're-" Mrs. Curtis' warning came too late. Johnny flew right under a rain cloud. It surprised him so much, he forgot what he was doing and he fell right out of the sky and landed in a puddle. Several children had been playing there and they jumped up and down and shrieked with delight at the splash Johnny made.   
Mrs. Curtis landed gracefully beside him. "We get to chose the weather too... Mr. Curtis makes it rain in some spots of his garden if he's tired of the colors. And the kids just love it! They've been playing in the puddles all day!"   
Johnny reached out and grasped a hand that was offered to him. He brushed himself off a bit and turned to thank whoever had helped him up. His eyes widened and his insides turned to ice as he looked into the face of Bob Sheldon.   
"Hi, Johnny."  
Johnny studied him carefully. He gave no indication of being threatening in any way. "H-hi" Johnny said quietly.  
They just looked at eachother in silence for a moment. It was Bob who spoke first. "Johnny, I uh.. I'm really sorry... about everything."  
Johnny just stared at him, suddenly consumed with guilt and sorrow for what had happened.  
"I was a real jerk," Bob continued. Johnny could feel his sincerity. "Can you forgive me?"  
Johnny's blinked in surprise. "Uh, yeah, I... look, I never meant- "  
Bob raised his hand and stopped Johnny from saying anything else. "I know. I know. Hey," Bob held out his hand. Hesitantly, Johnny shook it. Bob slapped Johnny's shoulder good naturedly and smiled at him.  
Johnny managed a weak smile back, his eyes still round as saucers. He couldn't believe this was happening.  
But then Bob's face got serious and he turned to Mrs. Curtis. "I came to tell you..." he said. "It's Dallas."  
Johnny's ears perked up at the mention of his friend's name.  
But Mrs. Curtis' shoulders sagged. "Oh, no," she said and bent down to the ground. She pulled up a handful of grass and looked down into the small hole she had made. Johnny couldn't quite see, but from what he could gather, she was looking down at the earth!   
"Oh no!" She sounded more angry than anything else. "Dallas! Uuhh!" She threw the grass down and started to walk back the way they had come.   
"What's wrong?" Johnny asked.  
"I think our friend is about to do something very foolish."  
"Dallas? Yeah, so what else is new? Do we have to go try to stop him?" Johnny asked eagerly. Maybe they got to be like guardian angels, he thought hopefully. Dally could sure use one.   
Mrs. Curtis turned to Johnny. This time there was saddness in her eyes. "Johnny, do you know if Dally... had the faith? Did he believe?"   
Johnny looked at her for a moment. He knew what she was asking. But he wasn't sure..."I don't know... we never really discussed religion. He didn't ever come to church or anything. Why?"   
She just looked at him worriedly.  
"What's happening to Dally?" Johnny asked quietly, afraid to hear the answer.  
She put her hand on Johnny's shoulder. "Dally is about to make a very bad choice. There's nothing we can do to stop him."  
Johnny looked at her horrified. "Is... is Dally going to die? But, he'll just come here, though, right?"

She didn't answer.

"Won't he?" >


	2. Chapter 2

Thank you all so much for the reviews. I have to apologize for the formatting of chapter 1. I have a new computer and, quite frankly, I really hadn't figured out the old one yet, let alone switch to a new one. I hope this chapter looks better.

**Kimmerkay-** Thank you so much for your kind words. I am touched that you were so moved by the story so far. I'm sure the real Heaven is way more amazing than I could ever describe. I hope you enjoy the rest of the story. Thank you so much!

**TheAngryPrincess13-** I had a hard time writing Bob into heaven, to be honest with you. I'm a little biased when it comes to Johnny's character and I have to force myself to remember that there are two sides to every story. I'm really glad you liked it! Thanks for the review.

**Mrs.HoldenCaufield-** Thanks so much! You will find out about Dally in this chapter. I hope you like it!

**streetpanther1-** Thank you! I hope you enjoy this chapter!

**NittanyLizard-** Yeah, I'm totally annoyed at how the first chapter looked. I am computer illiterate and it was almost midnight. Hopefully this chapter will look the way I want it to! Thanks so much for taking the time to review!

**JamesDeanismygod-** I'm so glad you liked the first chapter! Thanks so much for the review.

**Kazey-** You are about to find out...

**In My Heaven...Chapter 2 **

Johnny followed Mrs. Curtis back to through the flower gardens and over the forest to the edge of the field. She stopped at the very edge, just where the grass started to get taller.

Johnny looked at her, a silent question in his eyes.

Mrs. Curtis just shook her head. "We'll know soon enough..." she said, her eyes watching the distant patch of shorter grass that grew beneath the limbs of a tall tree.

Johnny hung his head and his shoulders sagged.

Mrs. Curtis turned to him. "Don't lose hope, yet, Johnny. We don't know-"

"Come on..."He said softly, shaking his head. "Dally? The toughest greaser in the neighboorhood? The guy who was full of hate for the whole world?"

Mrs. Curtis folded her arms and looked at him. "Johnny! There are no stereotypes here! You'd be surprised at some of the people who have walked through this forest. You don't get here on good behavior, you know that! All it takes is faith- and faith no bigger than a mustard seed, at that! And no matter what you've done... it's all been paid for." Mrs. Curtis scolded him. "And he didn't hate everything..." she said looking knowingly at him.

Johnny still looked hopeless. And guilty. "I never told him. "

She looked back at the field. She knew what Johnny meant. "Well, I did. And I think he was listening. I think..."

Johnny looked up at her when she paused and watched as a satisfied smile passed over her face.

"Atta boy, Dallas." She said softly, her eyes focused on a glowing light at the base of the tree. "You were listening."

Johnny let out a muffled cry and lunged forward only to be pulled back by Mrs. Curtis.

"Wait, Johnny," she said gently, grasping his arm. "Dally's... not supposed to be here...not right now, do you understand?"

He stared at her for a moment and then he knew. Suicide. Johnny understood. He didn't understand why, but he understood. He nodded, solemnly.

"This is not going to be as easy of a transition for him as it was for you... do you remember how you were a little scared at first? Well, it's going to take a lot more for Dally to adjust to this than it did for you. He'll be all right, but I just wanted you to understand."

"Are you coming?" Johnny asked.

"No. It's kind of an unwritten rule... only one soul at a time goes out in this field. It's less overwhelming to the newcomer that way. Each new soul is brought in by someone who's already here. The one that they are the most connected to. And believe me, Johnny, there's not a soul here that that boy is more connected to than you."

Johnny looked towards the patch of grass. The light was gone and someone was lying on the ground, motionless. Johnny started to run, completely forgetting about being able to fly.

He dropped to his knees when he reached Dally's still form.

"Dal?" he ventured cautiously.

Dally stirred slightly. "Johnny," he whispered. "No..."

"I'm right here," Johnny said, placing his hand on Dally's arm. The moment that Johnny touched him he saw it... the robbery, the phone call, the shooting... Johnny sucked in his breath, pained by the images.

"Johnny.." Dally moaned, his voice full of anguish.

Johnny touched his face. "Why, Dal?" Johnny asked sadly.

Suddenly, Dally's eyes shot opened and he gasped. He sat bolt upright, knocking Johnny's hand away. Without standing up, he quickly moved a few feet back away from Johnny.

"Dal... It's me! What... what the matter?"

Dally began shaking his head and his eyes had a wild look in them, like a trapped animal. He stared at Johnny in disbelief. His mouth moved as though he were trying to speak but couldn't. And then finally, he got the words out. "I saw you die," he said almost inaudibly. "I was in the hospital... right next to you..."

Johnny watched him with some uncertainty. He was starting to see what Mrs. Curtis meant.

Dally was still looking at him in horrified disbelief. He stood shakily and took a few more steps back. "This isn't even happening." Dally's breathing quickened. "You're not really here. I'm gonna wake up in some damn hospital bed and.. this _isn't happening_! I saw you die!" he yelled at Johnny as his knees gave out and he sank back to the ground. "I saw you die!" his said again choking back a sob.

Johnny stared at him for a moment, not believing what he was seeing. "Dally?" he said softly and approached him cautiously.

Dally backed away from him until he was up against the tree. "Stay away from me! I don't know who you are... Johnny's dead! Oh, God, Johnny!" Dally slumped against the tree sobbing.

"Dally!" Johnny said desperately. He wanted to go to him, but Dally was very obviously terrified of him, so he kept his distance.

And suddenly, he began seeing Dally as he really was, without the cloud of hero worship. He was a seventeen year old kid. An angry, lonely, frightened kid who had lost the only person he really cared about. He remembered Ponyboy crying in the church when they had run away. Dally looked almost like that... only worse...

Johnny got down beside him and moved closer to him, speaking softly. "Dally, come on... I'm right here, it's ok..."

Dally had his face buried in his hands. "I'm still in the hospital... I must be! Johnny, don't die, please don't die."

"Dallas!" Johnny said sternly, surprising himself with the tone of his own voice. Finally, he just took Dally by the arms. Dally gasped and pressed himself up against the tree trunk, refusing to look at Johnny.

He struggled weakly against him. "You're not really here. I saw you die..." he kept repeating through sobs.

"Yes!" Johnny said firmly. "I did! I did die, and so did you, Dally! And you weren't supposed to! Why did you do that? What were you thinking?"

Dally was hiding his face.

Johnny could feel Dally shaking and it felt strange to be the one who wasn't afraid for once. He softened his voice, but he couldn't mask the hurt. "Why, Dal?"

And then Dally turned and glared at him accusingly. "Why? _Why?_ You had to save those stupid kids!" Dally screamed. "You had to get yourself killed! You were the only thing good in my life. You were all I had! How could you leave me?" It was complete raw emotion. Dally couldn't put up his mask of aloofness here. He sagged back against the tree, his voice just a whisper now and his eyes looking anywhere but at Johnny. "How could you leave me?"

Johnny sat back, shocked. He couldn't believe what he was hearing. Tough, hard Dallas Winston... "Dally... I- I'm sorry! But... I had to do it," he said emphatically. "You know I did! You know it was the right thing to do."

Johnny leaned forward and cautiously put his hand on Dally's shoulder. Dally flinched slightly, but didn't pull back.

"And you know what?" Johnny continued softly. "I know you thought it was the right thing to do, too. Because you didn't try to stop us. You were right there... I mean, sure, you did a lot of yelling, but you didn't _really_ try. You were right there helping and you never stopped us... because you knew." As Johnny spoke, the reality of his own words hit him like a ton of bricks. He understood clearly now where his respect for Dally had always come from. There was good in him- kindness- and Johnny had always seen it.

Dally kept his head buried in his arms, his knees pulled tightly up to his chest, his body wracked with an occasional sob. "I didn't want you to die..." his voice was so muffled that Johnny barely heard him.

"I know... I know you didn't. It wasn't your fault," Johnny said gently. "It was... just how it was meant to be, Dally. And I'm happy now! I mean, I've only just been here for a really little while, but I'm happy..."

Johnny didn't know what else to say to him. So he just sat beside him, keeping his hand on Dally's shoulder his heart aching for his friend.

Finally, Dally stopped shaking so much and he sat back against the tree letting his head hit the trunk as he leaned back. He brought his hands up to his face and wiped his eyes. But didn't look at Johnny. He just stared off towards the trees. "You're not real," he said quietly.

Johnny raised his eyebrows. "I-I'm not?"

Dally shook his head. "You're not real. And if I sit here long enough, I'm gonna wake up and be in that damn hospital."

Johnny watched him nervously.

Dally just looked around, shaking his head.

"What?" Johnny asked.

"Nothin'," Dally replied, looking tired. "I'm just waitin' to wake up."

Johnny raised his eyebrows and chuckled soflty. He was still worried about Dally, but at least he had stopped crying. That had been a little scary. "Do you want to wake up?"

Dally kept staring straight ahead. "Nope. But I know I will."

"What makes you so sure?"

Finally Dally shot a glance at him. "Cause this is not where I'm gonna end up when I die."

Johnny started to smile a little. "'Cause not even Jesus could fix all the stuff you've done, right?"

Dally looked surprised for a second, but then glared at him. "Shut up. You don't know nothin'! You don't even exist."

Johnny finally let out a laugh. "Right. I forgot."

Dally went back to staring at the forest, 'waiting to wake up'.

Johnny shook his head. "So, you're just gonna sit here then? Even dead, you're so stubborn."

Dally was not seeing the humor in the situation at all, and Johnny did not miss his slight cringe at the word 'dead'.

"Look, Dal, I don't really want to spend the rest of the day hangin' out in this field. I spent enough time doin' that on Earth. Don't you want to wander around a little? Man, you gotta see what's on the other side of those trees!" Johnny said with growing enthusiasm. He really wanted Dally to experience all that he had seen in the short time he'd been there. "The gardens, the mounntains, you just won't believe it! And- oh!" Johnny said, his eyes widening. "Check this out, man- wait till you see this. Watch!"

Johnny stood up.

Mrs. Curtis, who was watching from the edge of the forest shook her head. "Oh, Johnny! Not too much at once! You're going to overwhelm him." She smiled a little as she watched them.

Johnny jumped into the air and floated around the field like a bird.

Dally stared for a second, his mouth falling open and then he just closed his eyes and dropped his head to his knees.

For a minute, Johnny thought he might be crying again. He landed gently and looked at Dally, crestfallen. "Dal? I'm sorry! I... what's the matter?" He trotted over to Dally, not daring to fly again, and sat down in front of him. To his surprise, Dally was laughing. Laughing and crying at the same time, he realized when Dally finally lifted his head. Johnny wasn't sure if this was much better than just plain crying.

"This is _not_ happening." Dally repeated again. "There is no way I'm here." His expression changed suddenly to one of utter desperation. His eyebrows wrinkled and his voice cracked as he looked around. "I don't deserve to be here..."

Johnny stared at him in disbelief. It was starting to sink in. "None of us do, Dal! That's just it! Nobody up here is any better than you or me! None of us deserve to be here! Think about it- what person is good enough to deserve this?" he asked waving his arms around. "And this isn't even the good part!"

Dally finally looked at him as though he might almost believe him.

Johnny sat back. "You can't earn your way here. Lucky for us, somebody else took care of everything that went on down there. All of it. All you needed was faith like mustard."

Dally's brow wrinkled again in confusion.

Johnny scrunched up his face, trying to remember the mustard thing that Mrs. Curtis had mentioned. "That don't sound quite right... I don't know. It's something like that. Anyhow, all I know is, you're really here. I'm really here. That's all there is to it."

Johnny sighed, not knowing what else he could say, but then he remembered something else Mrs. Curtis told him. "Oh, but I was told that you would be having a hard time with this because apparently, you weren't supposed to be here so soon. So I guess that's why you're not taking this so well." Johnny cocked one eyebrow in gentle accusation at Dally.

Dally just stared blankly at him. Then he looked down, looking almost ashamed.

"It's ok..." Johnny said gently nudging Dally's arm. "I told you, it's all been taken care of. It's not good that you did that or anything, but.. I don't know. I just know everything's gonna be ok."

Johnny stood and held out his hand. "Look, I know you think I don't exist, but why don't you let me show you around before you 'wake up'?"

Dally hesitated, but finally took Johnny's hand and stood. He looked around at the scenery.

"It's nice, huh?" Johnny said quietly, trying to calm Dally down a little. "Wait till you see the rest! Come on," Johnny looked back to make sure Dally was following.

He watched Dally pause and put a hand on his chest, remembering the bullet wound. It was coming back to him.

"You're ok now, Dal." Johnny said quietly.

He watched as Dally took a shaky step forward, and then another.

"See?" Johnny coaxed softly, moving a few steps more away from the patch of short grass. "It's ok. C'mon."

Slowly, Dally began to follow him, still looking around.

Johnny walked ahead, glancing back every so often to make sure Dally was still behind him. After a moment, without even looking, he felt Dally stop. Johnny turned and faced him.

"Johnny," Dally said shakily, finally really looking at him- looking at him and really seeing him.

Johnny could see that the hate and anger that once filled his eyes was gone. There was just this sad uncertainty left, like he still wasn't sure he belonged here, or if he was even here at all, but he really wanted to stay.

Dally took a deep, shaky breath. "I don't... I don't want to wake up," he choked out.

Johnny smiled at him reassuringly. "You won't," he said. And, confident finally, that Dally was not going to be afraid of him any more, Johnny ran to him and hugged him tightly. "You're not asleep."

Dally squeezed his eyes shut as he held Johnny. "You're ok..."he whispered. He was crying again. But this time, Johnny knew it wasn't because he was sad or scared...

"Yeah, I'm ok now. And you are too."

Dally ran his hand over Johnny's hair as he cried on Johnny's shoulder. "You're really here.."

"I'm really here," Johnny repeated, filled with relief that Dally was finally starting to let this all sink in. "And I ain't goin' anywhere."

"I thought I was never gonna see you again," Dally's voice was muffled in Johnny's shoulder.

"I'm right here. And I'll always be right here." Johnny whispered. "In fact, you're pretty much stuck with me now," he quipped, trying to lift Dally's spirits. "You're gonna have to see me every day for eternity. That's a really long time. I'll probably get really annoying after a few hundred years and then what will you do?"

Dally just shook his head and let out what sounded like a little laugh.

Johnny let go of him and walked beside him, nudging him on towards the trees.

Dally sniffled a little and rubbed his eyes again. He was getting hold of himself.

"You're kind of a wise-ass for someone who doesn't exist."

"Dal! You better start watching your mouth."

"I thought there were supposed to be pearly gates or something."

"You're so literal. Look at the trees, man!" Johnny said as he continued on.

The forest spread out before them, a sea of shimmering white birch trees forming a perfect archway over a well worn path. One might almost call them a pearly white.

"Hey!" Dally said, stopping in his tracks, his face contorted in shock once again and his voice rising in pitch. "Is that... is that Mrs. Curtis?"

She waved.

Dally let out a strange squeaking noise as though he were about to have another breakdown.

Johnny just grinned, took a bewildered Dally by the arm and started walking again. "Come on, Dally. Everything's ok."

And he knew it would be. Dally would be fine just like Mrs. Curtis said. It might take some time, but he would be ok. They both would be. They were free. They were without pain, without sorrow. There would be no more fighting about money, appearances or social status.

Johnny knew he didn't have to be afraid of anything anymore. The Curtis parents were here, and, even though he probably was still supposed to be on earth, Johnny was happiest of all that Dally was with him, too. All around him was beauty... and a peace that surpassed understanding.

As Dally tagged nervously after him, completely out of his element and still staring dumbfounded at Mrs. Curtis, Johnny said a silent prayer. He gave thanks that there was such a place where greasers and socs and just plain ordinary people got to go where the end of their life was really just the beginning. And not because they deserved to go or earned their way there. He knew he certainly wouldn't be there, if that had been the case. He was there by the Grace of God and he knew it.

And most of all, he prayed for everyone he and Dally had left behind on earth... that they would be comforted and find a little bit of the peace that he was now experiencing until he could see them again.

_Nothing shatters, nothing breaks.  
_

_Nothing hurts and nothing aches._

_We've got ourselves one helluva place_

_In my heaven._

_Looking down at the world below,_

_A bunch of whining, fighting shmos._

_Up here we've got none of those_

_In my heaven._

_There's pools and lakes and hills and mountains_

_Music, art and lighted fountains._

_Who needs bucks here?_

_No one's counting_

_In my heaven._

_No one works, we all just play,_

_We pick the weather everyday._

_If you change your mind, that's ok_

_In my heaven._

_Grandma's up here, Grandpa, too_

_In a condo with to-die-for views._

_There's presidents and movie stars,_

_you just come as you are._

_No one's lost and no one's missing,_

_No more partings just hugs and kissing,_

_And all these stars are just for wishing_

_In my heaven._

_There's little white lights everywhere,_

_your childhood dog in Dad's old chair,_

_And more memories than my heart can hold_

_When Eva's singing "Fields of Gold"._

_There's neighbors, theives and long lost lovers,_

_Villains, poets, kings and mothers._

_Up here we forgive eachother_

_In my heaven._

_For every soul that's down there waiting,_

_Holding on still hesitating_

_We say a prayer of levitating_

_In my heaven._

_You can look back on your life and lot,_

_But it can't matter what you're not._

_By the time you're here, we're all we've got_

_In my heaven_

_In my heaven._


End file.
